Just a couple of months ago, the whole world was shocked by the announcement that Brian and Kerry McFadden were splitting up. Out of all of the showbusiness partnerships, they seemed to have a rock-solid relationship.

While Brian hit a round of endless interviews to launch his solo career, 24-year-old Kerry disappeared from public view. She retreated to her mum's home in Warrington with their two daughters, three-year-old Molly, and Lilly Sue, almost two, and surrounded herself with close friends and family.

It is only now that she feels ready to re-enter the public spotlight. On the day of the OK! shoot, Kerry Katona seems almost back to her old bubbly self. She laughs, jokes and seems to ooze confidence with her new sultry brunette looks replacing her familiar blonde tresses.

In this exclusive interview, Kerry reveals all about the heartbreak, her darkest moments, her dramatic weight loss and her fears about starting the dating game all over again...

How are you feeling?
Kerry: "I'm fine and feeling great. I'm feeling very positive at the moment - I've got myself a new hairdo and I've lost a bit of weight. I've got a new car. I'm ready to move into a new house. All I need now is a new man!"

Everybody knows you as a blonde - why have you decided to transform yourself into a brunette?
"I feel like I'm moving on to another chapter in my life so I just thought, why not? It's a clean break and time for me to start all over again."

What about your weight - you look like you've lost quite a bit?
"I think it's just down to stress really. Don't bother about the Atkins Diet girls, just get a divorce - it does wonders for your figure! I'm only joking, it's not the best way to lose weight, I wouldn't advise anybody to lose weight the way I have done. But I'm quite happy that I have lost a bit of weight."

How much weight have you lost?
"I think I've lost a stone and a half, but I don't feel any healthier for losing it. I'm the most unhealthy person you could ever meet in your life - I just feel slimmer."

Let's talk about Brian. When did you start thinking that things might not be right between you?
"I can't actually go into any details due to legal reasons. I think the only people who have a right to know what happened are my two little girls and me. If people want to find out what happened they should ask them when they're 18."

How do you feel about Brian at the moment?
"I wish Brian all the luck in the world. He is the father of my kids and I don't want to hear any bad things about him. I love him to bits and I wish him well, I really do."

What about all these stories saying that it all ended over the phone?
"Sorry, I'm not talking about it. It's just too private a matter. I'm trying to get my life back together - the last thing I want to be doing is sitting down and talking about my babies' father and why we ended it all. It's supposed to be between Brian, the girls and myself and that's they way I want it to stay."

So will there come a day when you decide to talk about what has happened in public?
"I have not intention to go out and do any newspaper, magazine or television interviews about it. It's nobody's business, it's a private matter. I am absolutely heartbroken. Why am I going to sit down and talk about it with the rest of the world? That's it!"

How are Molly and Lilly Sue?
"They're fine. Molly has her own personality, she was born aged 21! She's so grown up for her age and knows what's going on but doesn't let on herself, which hurts as I'm not sure if she's happy. They have never seen me cry, I wouldn't let them."

How have they coped with the changes in their lives since Brian and you split up?
"Well they didn't really travel around with us before, we only went to Warrington on holidays. They're with me, they're healthy and they're happy. They have got a new school. Molly even came home and told me about her boyfriend - she's only three!! My main concern is that they stay happy and healthy."

Are they getting to see much of Brian?
"Yes, he's getting to see the kids as often as he can. He has them at weekends and I look after them in the week. It's just a little different now, both their parents still love them madly - more than anything, more than the day they were born. I would still consider them to be very lucky kids."

Have you decided how you and Brian are to divide up the time for looking after the girls?
"I've been looking after them in the week and Brian has them at weekends. That means I can go and let my hair down, which I'm allowed to do. I'm single and a good mum, but I want to go out and enjoy myself which I think I'm allowed to do."

You were pretty young when you married and had the girls - do you think that by going out now you're making up for lost time?
"No, I've always had my life. I never honestly think that once you have kids your life should stop. I think if you give everything up you're going to become miserable and your kids are going to notice that, which in turn will have a psychological effect on them. I go out and enjoy myself but if I have the girls I don't go out."

Do you have moments when you feel lonely?
"I miss waking up with somebody. I miss getting hugs and kisses and having somebody to phone or text to talk about what I've been doing. I'm a really affectionate person and I love kisses. I have my little girls and they have plenty of hugs and kisses for me, but it's nice to have the other sort of affection as well."

Where you sad when you had to move back from Ireland?
"I was getting pretty lonely in Ireland as I didn't have that many friends there. I think my best friend was Brian's mum Mairead. She's been great through all this, as have all his family. But I think at my age I need to have friends of a similar age as well."

So how are you planning to get on with your life?
"I'm honestly just going to take one day at a time. You never know what's around the corner and I'm too bloody nosy, so I want to find out!"

Do you have any regrets about what has happened?
"I have no regrets whatsoever. Brian was my best friend and soulmate. I miss him like hell, don't get me wrong. I haven't seen him in a long time but I love his new song, Irish Son, and Molly is in the video. I wish him luck. If he wasn't happy then he deserves to be happy as he's a good person."

You mentioned that you were buying a house...
"At the moment we're living in a rented house. Hopefully we'll be moving into the new house any day now. With Christmas coming up and moving it's really hard and it can get you down, but I have got to keep a smile on my face - especially for the kids. If I didn't have the kids I think I would have broken down by now. But I can't do that as it would be really selfish of me."

You must have bad moments when you have felt really down, though?
"Don't get me wrong. I've had my little cries. But that's when I'm on my own and there are no press or public around. They're moments for me."

Did you look at the papers when the story broke about Brian and you splitting up?
"Yes, and it was heartbreaking - I think I must have cried for three days. I think that was when all my weight started to come off."

Did you get to a point where you thought you'd done all your crying and had to move on with your life?
"I think in anybody's life, if they're getting divorced there's going to be a point when you get upset about the way your life is. But you've got to put this into perspective. There are moments when I get down and sad, but I've got two beautiful daughters, I'm healthy and I've got a great job - that's all I need. I'm got going to dwell on things. I have got my kids and they keep me happy."

You have been pictured out and about. How easy is it going out on the social scene again?
"I am single at the moment but I've never experienced paparazzi like that before. It's a bit bizarre. At first it did get me down. I think I sat in my mum's house for three days and just cried. I felt trapped and didn't like it. But I understand that being in the public eye, people what to know about things."

So were you dating your former boyfriend Dan Corsi?
"We were good friends and had a little snog. But we were just good friends more than anything that's all."

How do you feel about the prospect of dating all over again?
"I'm really nervous at the thought of going on a date! I just don't know what to do. With Dan I'd known him for so long so it didn't feel weird. If I was to date - like Brian has said himself - it would probably somebody in the industry. It's easier then because you're doing the same job."

Have you had anybody hit on you while you've been out at night?
"I've had a few blokes come up and start chatting me up. I don't know what to do. I just feel myself going all red and I can't look them in the eyes and I just felt guilty. It's fun and exciting but I don't think I'm ready yet. I just want to throw myself into looking after my kids, their schooling, my work and the new house."

Are you more wary of blokes coming up and talking to you?
"I think they see me as vulnerable. I don't take them seriously. I think they don't really like me and they won't really call me."

Would you like to go on a date, then?
"You know what, I'd love to go on a proper date. Just to have somebody call round and pick me up, take me for a meal or maybe the movie. I'd love to be wined and dined - I just haven't had that for so long. It's been years. In fact, I can't think of any time when I have been on a proper date. So if there are any guys out there, just send your picture into OK!"

Don't you have a soft spot for Colin Farrell?
"Colin or Robbie Williams. I think Robbie is a nice guy, but it might have to be Colin. Just give me a shout boys as I'm getting lonely."

You have said that you want to keep things private but your mum has spoken to the newspapers about what's happened. How do you feel about that?
"That's my mum. I think she just got so fed up with everyone saying things and, as a mother, which I can understand, she wanted to defend her daughter. My mum is her own person. Other people can say what they want about the situation - whether it's true or not. That's not my problem. I know the truth and that's it."

So has your mum tried to protect you from the glare of the public spotlight?
"My mum's been great. She's like my best mate. In a sad way it's nice that I'm home. I'm glad that I've got my friends and family around me again. I think if I'd done this interview a few weeks ago I would have cried, but I'm alright and now feel that I'm getting there."

Do you feel stronger in your self?
"I do feel stronger, but when I finish doing this shoot I'll go back to the hotel and I'll be all on my own. I was going to bring Molly down but I don't think that's fair to her. she would get fed up and even when Brian and me where together we would never bring the girls down to London because of their schooling."

Have you changed in any way because of what's happened?
I'm probably a little more chilled out than I used to be, but I'm still collecting my thoughts and thinking about my own life - who am I going to end up with or am I going to end up with or am I going to end up dying a lonely old spinster?! But things do change you. Brian and me had been together for three weeks when he proposed. I knew he was the one. My confidence and ego have been shattered. It's not nice knowing that somebody doesn't love you. You can't force somebody to love you but I have been broken."

You're very close to Atomic Kitten's Natasha Hamilton. Has she offered you support in the past couple of months?
"I stayed at Tash's the other night. Her baby is due in January and she still looks slimmer than me! We had a Chinese meal and a natter. She's also been to stay at my house. Tash and me have always been great friends."

What about your other friends?
"They have told me that it's great to have me back. I wouldn't have been able to get to this stage without the help of my friends - Joanne, Lisa, David, Mark and Michelle have been absolutely fantastic. I've been very lucky and have the best friends in the whole wide world. They've all done so much and I really appreciate it. When things like this happen it make me realise how lucky I am to have friends who have rallied round and not asked for anything in return - just for me to be happy."

They've been that good to you?
"I feel like I'm married to them. Everywhere I go I take them with me because I hate being on my own. I don't mind my own company but I just get really lonely. Even if I'm sat crying and not talking they'll be there for me. They'll wait for me to talk and I think that's wonderful."

You have been busy making a movie, Showbands - have you seen the finished film yet?
"I have and it was really weird watching myself on the screen. I have a sex scene in it, which was very funny to film - I fell off the bed during rehearsals! We were watching it back the other day and I was mortified when Molly walked in the room. She caught a glimpse and asked me who the boy was I was kissing. But I picked her up and took her out of the room."

What was it like having to act out a sex scene?
"It was a closed set but there were still enough people around. But I just got on with it. The film was great fun, one of the best things I have ever done. Acting is what I want to do with my life."

What do you hope for the future?
"For my girls to be happy and for them to be settled. Nothing for me in particular other than that I can be a good mum."

So will you have more kids?
"I love being a mum. Every day is new when you have kids and I'd never rule that out. But not yet, maybe in the future, when I'm around 30. it's an unconditional love between a mother and a child and that's what I love so much about motherhood."

And what about marriage?
"I loved being married and being part of somebody. Just being a partnership and helping to make joint decisions. It's quite hard making decisions on your own, especially as I'm generally such an indecisive person."

Do you think you've learned anything from all that has happened in the past few months?
"Yes, you never know what life is going to throw at you - but I've always known that. You have a short life in which you live and you learn."

Credits: Lynchi.de.vu