Taking Care Interview - Kerry McFadden

Q: You were taken into emergency care when you were 13? What happened?
A: My mum had a terrible, terrible childhood, so when I was born she tried to be a mother but you know once you have been brought up one way it's really hard to try and take the other path and be stable or whatever. She loves me to bits, but she was young, she was only 20. My mum was brought up in care as well, she was in foster homes as well so it was just the way it was.

Q: Tell us about the foster carers you grew up with
A: My fourth set of foster carers, Mag and Fred, were amazing. They were brilliant and I love them to bits. I had such a laugh with them, they were lovely, and they had their own son as well. I was with them for three years I think. I was supposed to stay with them until I was 18, 'cause I had a court order on me, so I wasn't supposed to leave, but I wanted to be a Page 3 model and so I got the court order lifted and I moved into a semi-independence place.

Their son Paul and I used to just take the mickey out of each other, and we still do. It was great. And when I was down they were there for me. I used to make them laugh all the time. I would be in the garden in summer and I'd be sunbathing and Paul or Fred would get the hose and squirt me, it was brilliant. My foster mum would actually ground me just to keep me in to keep her company. I still don't think they know how much they've given me and shown me what a family life was like. I could actually argue back with them because I felt so relaxed, they were great. And even now I still go and see them - my foster dad gave me away at my wedding.

Q: Did you feel different from your friends?
A: My friends, 'cause of the way I am, got used to the fact I was with foster carers and they all got on with them really well. Some of my friends would come out and say 'me dad said I can't wear that skirt 'cause it's too short', and I'd go 'you don't know how lucky you are'

They knew I was different, but it wasn't a topic we spoke about, it was just 'Kerry's got foster carers', or 'oh you've got to go home see Mag you've got to go home to see Fred', it was never like 'oh you're with carers'. But I always knew I was different to them all. Sometimes they'd be bickering over that they've had a fight with their brother or they've had a fight you know on, on holiday in the Bahamas, and I sit back and think God if only you knew, oh my God you're so bloody lucky.

Q: What about at school?
A: The thing about being in care is some of the teachers who didn't know, and probably some of the kids who didn't know me, they all sort of think you're a troubled child, or you're naughty, or you're bad - and that isn't always the case, you know I was a good girl and it was just unfortunate that I had to go into foster carers. I actually remember one of the teachers saying 'you know you'll never make anything of your life'.

And then when I was in Atomic Kitten we actually played at my school. I actually loved school and I actually remember being on the stage, and this one teacher came over to me and said to me 'I always knew you was going to make it'. I thought you hated me what are you going on about? I said it on the mic, if any of the teachers ever tell you you're not going to be anybody well you are, if you believe in yourself you can do it, 'cause I'm here and look at me. And they went wheahhhh - and I was just dead proud that's one of my proudest moments ever!

Q: How did you actually get into the band?
A:I was still with Mag and Fred and I snuck off to a nightclub and I was on the dance floor and this guy came over and he gave me this letter, you know he didn't see me dance didn't see me sing nothing. So the next morning we read the letter so we phoned them up and I went down to Liverpool and started dancing and singing for him.

Q: You said you might like to get involved in the care system?
A: We do want a boy. If me and Bryan were in a proper house you know we weren't travelling here there and everywhere I'd love to do that because I know what it's like to need somebody so I know what these kids are going through and I'd love to give them back say listen I've been there and done that love you know we're here to look after you, but unfortunately because of the way our lives are we can't do that. But we were talking about adopting, we'd love to adopt - not yet maybe when we're a bit older - but we did consider it adopting when we get older because there's so many kids out there without homes.

Q: What's your message to kids who are going through similar things?
A: I always thought right, it's going to be normal one day and it'll be fine, and even when I was so down I've wanted to jump out windows. And I just kept thinking no tomorrow's another day I don't know what's going to happen, 'cause the way my life has been there's so many different things that have happened or I've experienced and seen that I never thought I would. And if I can do it anybody can do it, anybody - it doesn't matter if you were born with a silver spoon in your hand, it doesn't matter if you were born with a wooden spoon in your hand or a plastic one, it doesn't matter as long as you believe in yourself and you have determination, things will be all right and they really, really will.