Think Irishmen, think smooth-talking charmers with the ability to persuade a dog it’s a cat. We decided to test this theory on WESTLIFE. Lads, you have one minute to persuade us...
Why I, KIAN, would make a good boyfriend...
"I like to treat ladies nice, the way they should be treated. I’d take my girlfriend
to the movies or snuggle up at home watching a video. I’d buy her loads of presents
and I’d never forget her birthday and I’d take great care to find out what she
liked, how many sugars she took in her tea, what kind of restaurants she enjoyed
eating in. Oh, and this is really important, I’d know exactly what dress size
she was and I wouldn’t feel embarrassed about buying her sexy lingerie.
"Certain magazines are saying I’m a real ladies‘ man but I’m not. I don’t go out looking for a girl to pull. If I think I’m going to get serious with the girl I’ll take her to meet my mum. I think it’s important to get to know your girlfriend really well and understand her feelings. You need to be able to talk to each other. I’d write a song for my girlfriend and we’d go for long walks along the beach at sundown. Oh and one more thing, I’d happily squeeze my girlfriends spots. After all, I’d expect her to squeeze mine!"
Gift Of The Gab Rating: 4/5.
A girl could get used to this kind of pampered behaviour. Just one thing, Kian...
pop your own pimples, mate.
Why I, BRYAN, would make a good flatmate...
"I’m very, very clean and I’m very, very cheap. I cook fine food, I love hoovering
and ironing and I don’t smell. I’d love the same TV programmes as you so whoever
you are, please, please be my flatmate cos I’m lonely and I’d make the perfect
companion! There you go, how was that? What? You want me to be truthful now?
Oh, well the truth is I never iron and I never hoover. Yuk! I don’t know how
to and I never will. I just can’t do it! I’ve never ever handwashed clothes
and don’t ask me to tidy up cos I’ll refuse. I could learn to do all these domestic
chores if I wanted but I can’t be bothered!"
Gift Of The Gab Rating: 5/5.
If Bryan hadn’t slipped into telling the truth we’d have believed every word
of his self-promoted housewifey image. Too bad it was a load of garbage!
Why I, NICKY, would make a good President of Ireland...
"I’d be the perfect choice for President because I’d love to live in a big house
and drive a big car, ha ha ha! I’d make the pubs open all night. I’d look after
everybody and make the poor really rich. Forget about war - I’d give all the
soldiers a long holiday. I’d boost football in Ireland and build even more restaurants
and bars with illuminous lights strung across the streets. I’d arrange for all
the make-up in the world to be totally free and if a girl asked any boy out
on a date he’d immediately say yes!
"My parliament would be really cool cos we’d have Westlife playing 24 hours a day and we’d have curtains hanging from the ceilings with Westlife splashed across them. There’d be PlayStations for everyone to play on during the boring speeches and free Guinness on tap. Takeaway food from around the world would arrive at the press of a button. And the first policies I’d introduce would be that schools would finish at 1pm every day and that girls could be anything they wanted, including models or singers, whatever they looked like."
Gift Of The Gab Rating: 5/5.
Step aside Ronan, we’ve found the perfect man for President!
Why I, SHANE, think Irish men make the best lovers...
"OK, here goes... Irish men are the most romantic men in the world. We love
treating girls to nice romantic evenings, y’know, doing things like taking girls
out for dinner. If I was to take a girl out, we’d go for a meal in a nice restaurant
and as I’m not one for going to clubs, afterwards we could either go and watch
a video or go for a romantic stroll. The countryside in Ireland is beautiful,
we could have a kiss and a cuddle on a bridge overlooking the mountains and
the lakes. Isn’t that right, Nicky?"
Nicky: "Yeah, the Irish are definitely the best lovers."
TOTP: Oi, Shane, you’re supposed to be persuading us, not Nicky!
"Sorry! We Irish take pride in our girls, more than any other nationality. We’re the kindest, most caring, most generous lovers. Sending flowers is a very big thing in Ireland, you’ve got to send a bouquet of 24 roses, it’s the done thing. I think Irish men just really like girls full stop!"
Gift Of The Gab Rating: 4/5.
Mmmm, dinner, a romantic stroll in the Irish countryside and flowers. Shane,
you’re really spoiling us! You drop a point for getting Nicky involved though.
Why I, MARK, would be the perfect dinner party guest...
"Right while the rest of the lads are nice people, you clearly haven’t spent
enough time with me or you wouldn’t even be asking me to explain this. You’d
have just invited me to your dinner party, no questions. Conversation-wise I’d
talk about anything you wanted me to. If you want a serious conversation I’d
be happy to talk about politics, if you just want to have a laugh I’ll be Jim
Carrey but funnier!
"Everyone will be talking about your party for years afterwards. Would I bring a present? I could bring you a car, would that be OK? I’d bring a pudding as well because you’d have cooked the main course. I could even sing a couple of songs if I wasn’t too busy being the life and soul of the pary!"
Gift Of The Gab Rating: 5/5.
Any dinner party guest who’s prepared to provide the pudding and bring us a
car as a pressie is on the invite list pronto!